Firestar's Inbox
by Asher the Fox
Summary: Take a firsthand look into Firestar's inbox! You may be suprised what you find...;
1. Chapter 1

Firestar's Inbox

A warrior fanfiction

By Ivypaw4

Tigerstar says the disclaimer

Tigerstar: But I have an email to write!

Ivypaw: (pulls out laser)

Tigerstar: (eyes laser wearily) Ivypaw4 doesn't own warriors

Ivypaw: (puts laser away) and now for chapter 1!

***

Firestar sat down in his den after a long, hard day. He pulled out his laptop and saw that he had 6 new emails, 1 from Sandstorm, 1 from Leafpool, 1 from Spottedleaf, 1 from Blackstar, 1 from Jayfeather, and 1 from... Tigerstar.

Firestar clicked on the one from Sandstorm first and read,

"Hi honey! Know you had a rough day today. Want to go hunting later? Just the two of us?"

Firestar wrote,

"Thanks for the offer honey, but I'm too tired. Maybe another day."

Firestar clicked the send button and went back to his inbox. The next one was from Leafpool,

"Father you should really get some sleep, you look exhausted! Do you want poppy seeds to help you sleep?"

Firestar thought for a moment, then wrote,

"Thanks sweetie. Poppy seeds sound good to me."

Once he had sent that email, he clicked on the one from Spottedleaf. It said,

"Look out! Great Danger ahead! Be safe!"

Firestar replied,

"Okay, I will keep a lookout for danger. Thanks."

Then Firestar clicked on the one from Blackstar.

"Yo Dude! You can expect a border raid soon."

Firestar sighed at wrote,

"Thanks. My patrols will keep a lookout."

Then he clicked on Jayfeather's email.

HELP! HELP! HELP! I CAN'T FIND MY STICK! HELP!

Firestar quickly replied,

"I will search for it in the morning."

Then Firestar clicked on the last email, which was from Tigerstar,

"Hello Firestar. This is from your sworn enemy. I WILL GET YOU! MMMMWWWAHHHHAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Firestar rolled his eyes and answered,

"Yeah, I'm soooo scared!

Once Firestar sent the email, he settled down for a nice long sleep.

***

Hope you liked the first chapter!

~Ivypaw4~


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the wonderful reviews I got. You guys are so supportive. Thanks!

Jayfeather says the disclaimer

Jayfeather: but I have to find my stick!

Ivypaw: Well the faster you say the disclaimer, the faster you can look for your stick

Jayfeather: Ivypaw4 doesn't own warriors

***

When Firestar woke up that morning, he ate a quick breakfast then checked his inbox.

He had 10 emails this time, 1 from Jayfeather, 1 from Spottedleaf, 1 from Cinderheart, 1 from eBay (I don't own eBay), 1 from Onestar, 1 from Tigerstar, 1 from Blackstar, 1 from Hollyleaf, and last email was from the soda company. (Firestar deleted this email)

Taking a deep breath, he clicked on the one from Jayfeather. It said,

"GET YOUR *** OUT THERE AND FIND MY STICK!!!!!!"

Firestar replied,

"I will send a patrol to find it later!"

Firestar sent the email and clicked on the email from Spottedleaf.

"I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO"

He replied,

"I know. I already have a MATE though. HER NAME IS SANDSTORM!!!!!!

Firestar pressed send and clicked on the one from Cinderheart.

"I will go find Jayfeather's stick. I know you have a lot to do."

Firestar answered,

"Thank You!!!!!"

Feeling relived, Firestar clicked on the one from eBay. It read,

"Looking for a new laptop? You've clicked on the right email! Order YOUR new laptop today!"

Firestar deleted it. The next email was from Onestar.

"We are still friends, aren't we?"

He replied,

"If you stop the border raids, then yes we are still friends."

After he sent it, Firestar saw that Tigerstar had replied to his latest email.

"Yeah, you should be scared!!"

Firestar decided not to reply. Instead, he clicked on the one from Blackstar.

"Hey Dude, I'm gonna border raid today! Watch out!!"

Firestar wrote,

"Thanks. I'll see you at sunhigh."

Firestar sent the letter and clicked on the last email, which was from Hollyleaf.

'I LOVE THE WARRIOR CODE!! I LOVE THE WARRIOR CODE!! I LOVE THE WARRIOR CODE!! I LOVE THE WARRIOR CODE!! Any code breakers MUST be punished!!!!!!

I CHASE THE WARRIOR CODE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Firestar yawned and wrote,

"I'll keep that in mind sweetie."

Firestar clicked send and closed his laptop.

***

Hope you enjoyed it!

~Ivypaw4~


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all reviews!

Cinderpelt says the disclaimer

Cinderpelt: Ivypaw4 doesn't own warriors

***

After Firestar came back from the sunhigh patrol, he sat down quickly and opened his laptop. He only had a few emails. 1 from Blackstar, 1 from eHarmony, 1 from Graystripe, and 1 from Littlecloud.

Firestar opened the one from Blackstar first. It read,

"I HATE YOU!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS PLANNING A RAID??!!!!"

Firestar sighed and replied,

"Um, duh! You sent me an email! How dumb are you!?"

Firestar clicked send and opened the email from eHarmony.

"Hello! My name is Cinderpelt! I don't know what age I am so I can't tell you. Tell me, can you meet me at the park?"

Just as Firestar was about ready to reply, Sandstorm came in. "WindClan have been pre-

Sandstorm's eyes fell upon the email on Firestar's laptop.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" (Runs out of the room crying)

"Sandstorm!"

But it was too late. She was already gone. So Firestar clicked on the email from Graystripe.

"Hey dude! What's up? Can I borrow $5?"

He replied,

"Sure, what's it for though?"

Then he clicked on the one from Littlecloud. It said,

"Don't mind Blackstar. He's out of his mind."

Firestar closed his laptop and walked out into the sunshine.

***

Thanks again and review!

~Ivypaw4~


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the great reviews! I hope this chapter will be just as funny as the last three.

Sandstorm says the disclaimer

Sandstorm: GO AWAY! (Runs away crying)

Ivypaw: Fine then! Be that way! I'll say the disclaimer if you won't! I don't own warriors!

But before we begin, a little background is necessary for this chapter

***

Sandstorm sneaked out of the warriors den in the middle of the night. She knew what had to be done. She snuck over to the ditch where she knew Firestar kept his laptop. She sent the email under Cinderpelt's name and crept back in bed.

***

Firestar padded over to the fresh kill pile and picked up a rabbit. Then he walked over to the entrance to his den and walked inside.

He had 5 new emails, 1 from Blackstar, 1 from Jayfeather, 1 from eHarmony, 1 from Onestar, 1 from Lionblaze.

Firestar clicked on the one from Blackstar. It read,

"YOU ARE SOOOO MEAN!!!! (Runs away sobbing)"

Firestar chose not to reply. Instead he opened the email from Jayfeather.

"My Sticky! My Sticky! Sticky!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! Hurray!!!! You found her! Yay! NOW HERE'S A WARNING!!!!! NEVER TOUCH MY STICK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!"

He wrote,

"Okay, okay. I won't touch your stick!"

He pressed send and yawned. Then he sat down to eat his fresh- kill.

***

Sandstorm padded over to where Squirrelflight and Leafpool were sharing tongues. She sat down and asked, "Did he read it yet?"

"No, not yet," Leafpool replied.

"Hey, he's pulling out his laptop!," Squirrelflight hissed.

"Good."

***

Firestar sat back down at his computer again and clicked on the email from eHarmony.

"Oops! This message wasn't supposed to be for you. Sorry!!

-Cinderpelt

He deleted the message and clicked on Onestar's email. It said,

"Yo dude! Just wanted to let you know, we've been prey- stealing."

Firestar let out a low hiss and wrote,

"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!"

Firestar took a deep breath and clicked send. Then he clicked on the email from Lionblaze. It read,

"Hey sorry to tell you this, but I broke your iPod."

Firestar yowled at replied,

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Without clicking the send button, he raced out of his den.

***

Hey guys, this is the last chapter. Hope you liked it! REVIEW!!!!

~Ivypaw4~

P.S. Jayfeathers emo!


	5. Chapter 5: BONUS CHAPTER! :D

**SPECIAL CHAPTER! i love all u guys to death, so here's a special extra chapter for Firestar's Inbox! =) And if I'm in a good mood, then maybe you'll be seeing more chapters in the future *wink wink***

**

* * *

**

Firestar padded into his den, his fur in clumps and snags from beating up Lionblaze.

"Nobody touches my baby, my preciousssssssss..." Firestar had hissed at the golden tabby tom, who cowered in fear and overall lack of saneness.

"Now, give me your ipod, you big baby!" Firestar held his paw out. Lionblaze muttered, and set a cardboard one in his paw. The leader didn't even look twice at it before stuffing it in his pocket. (Yes, cats have pockets. Don't ask)

So, after he finally realized that he had gotten the wrong Ipod, Lionblaze was now happily hunting in StarClan.

Firestar pulled open his laptop and checked that he had a few new messages in his box.

The first one just happened to be from Lionblaze, which read,

_Go die in a hole kittypet! Thanks a lot, now, you just screwed the future of KittypetClan!_

"KittypetClan?" Firestar laughed stupidly. "He must mean the Twolegplace!" Outside, a dead squirrel rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Firestar shouted. "Show some respect for the leader of-"

"KittypetClan!" Everyone chorused outside. Firestar's face went red with anger and he turned around and stomped away, crying.

"Why do you people have to be so meeaaannnn?" The leader of KittypetClan cried his eyeballs out- wait, now he can't see...Yeah...that might be a problem...

"Hey! Why do you torture me so much Asher! Now I can't see!" Firestar screamed at the sky.

"I SPECIFICALLY SAID NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IN THE SCRIPT!" Asher yelled down from where she was writing a new chapter of Firestar's Inbox...hey wait! That's the story your reading right now...weird...you STALKERS!

Firestar cowered as a single acorn fell from the sky and hit him right between where he should have had eyes. He swayed on his paws and dropped unconsious under the dead squirrel.

"Help meeeeeeee! He's going to kill me!" The dead squirrel cried out. Thornclaw came flying, (yes, literally flying) out of his den and knocked the great and wise leader of KittypetClan off the squirrel, who got up and walked over to the laptop to reply to Lionblaze.

_Hiiiiiii! Firestar says go cry in the emo corner! (Jayfeather's already waiting there for you!) _

_With Love,_

_Dead Squirrel of...DEATH!_

"Hey! Your not allowed to read Firestar's messages!" Crowfeather yowled randomly from WindClan territory.

"WAHHHHH!" The squirrel flooded the river with his tears, and the fat, overweight RiverClan sissies drowned. The End!

Not.

Crowfeather opened the next new message, which happened to be from...Crowfeather himself.

_MWAHAHAHAHA! I have found the lost treasure of the Twolegs, me mateys! I will follow the map and make meself rich and famous!_

"Yay!" Crowfeather squealed like a girl and grabbed his map on his way to the Twolegplace, to find a huge pile of leaves awaiting him.

"Okay. This is X!" He swept away the leaves with his long tail to find...

...

...

..

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...an empty bottlecap.

"Ohhhh myyy StttttarrrrrClllllaannnn! He's got the lost treasure!" A Twoleg shouted. A whole group of other Twoleg kits got up and began to close in on Crowfeather, who looked around, foaming at the mouth.

"Lay. one. finger. on. my. bottlecap. and. you. die." He whispered threateningly. The kits just stared at each other until one of them shouted,

"Get him!"

And so, to top it all off, Crowfeather got mugged by Twolegs.

"THAT'S NOT IN THE FREAKIN SCRIP IDIOTS!" Asher yelled, very ticked off with her cast. "YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIND THE TREASURE OR GET MUGGED BY TWOLEGS! YOU ARE ALL FIRED EXCEPT FOR THORNCLAW!"

"What! Why does Thornclaw get his $$ saved and not us?" Berryflower/nose (Please refer to other story).

"HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME DIRECTLY! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

"With pleasure!" Ivypaw ran forward and in one gigantic leap, sliced off Berryflower's head with her personal axe.

And, so again, the She-demon conquers all.

THE END!

...or is it? ;)


End file.
